[MGW] 104 - Fireworks in Connecticut

[my_strappyshoes]

Pressing her palm against the top to her prescription bottle she set it back into the cabinet in the bathroom. Cupping water into her hand she took the two small pills and dried her hand off before heading back out into the front room where Julian was waiting for her. Running her hands through her hair she smiled at him trying to reassure him that she was fine, that the pills were just a minor precaution her own doctor wanted to take once she'd been back in Connecticut and had gotten checked out again. She had been back on American soil for nearly a week but she still didn't feel like she'd come home yet.

Truthfully she hadn't. One night at her parents house was more than enough to push her to rent a condo closer to the city just to give her something to put distance between her parents and her. She knew they were grateful she wasn't returning to Los Angeles just yet, but she also knew they worried about her. The looks that her mother had given her when they picked her up at the airport nearly sunk her stomach, because she hadn't seen her mother that worried since she had to put them all into protective custody. They all walked on eggshells around her that night and by morning she asked her father to come with her to look for a place to stay for a while. She signed a month to month lease once she'd managed to explain her situation without actually explaining it truthfully. It was fully furnished, but Rachel still knew it wasn't quite what she needed. What exactly she needed though she still was unsure of.

Now though she'd been there for a few days and it felt at least a bit more relaxing now that Julian had been there with her. Sleepless nights were still an issue, even with Julian holding her staying up until she'd fall asleep. The way she'd startle herself awake if she did drift off was worrying him more than he was letting on, but she could see it in his eyes. The same way she saw that he wasn't getting much sleep either.

Her arms laced through his curving up to press against his back as she pulled in close against him, "Mmmm... I'm so very tempted to forget the fireworks and just stay in, but I haven't been since I was a kid, and I should probably get out instead of staying in bed with you all the time." Meeting his eyes she smiled, "Not that it's a bad thing at all, the quality bed time is greatly appreciated." Leaning in she brushed a kiss to his lips, murmuring the words against his mouth again, "Greatly appreciated."

As she pulled back she exhaled lightly, "We're leaving late enough that we should get there just a bit before they start, and once they're done we'll come back here and see if we can't arrange for our own fireworks."

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[elementof-risk.livejournal.com]

He'd followed her as quickly as he could, not wanting to put her more at risk by linking them on a passenger manifest, but not wanting to be apart from her longer than necessary either. The continued pills worried him, fear clenching in his gut that somehow there had been permanent damage done. The not sleeping, at least, was to be expected.

He wasn't doing much of it either.

It wasn't guilt, not in the least. He'd done far worse things to perfectly innocent people without a flicker of guilt. Destroying the man who'd hurt Rachel was perfectly justified in his mind. But it was still a departure, a descent into even darker shadows than he'd plumbed before in himself. There was worry that he'd told her father, at least that something...more worry that he might have seen the papers, might know...worry she would find out, and think...if he'd just killed him, just tortured him a bit, then killed him, he thought she'd understand. The extent of what he'd done...without remorse...it kept him up. More than that, though, the parallels with what he'd done...that the man was no different really, and probably even not quite as dangerous, as he himself...

There still wasn't shame, wasn't guilt. They were not emotions he was at all familiar with, but he was still aware that the only difference between them was that Nara wasn't as careful as he was, and he loved Rachel. Not Rachel? He'd do what he needed to find something out, and she had to know that, too. He'd done it before, after all.

He wasn't even fully sure what the disturbance was, so he focused it on her, worry for her, because that at least he understood. Still, today he tried to push it back, to return the kiss softly, to smile at the proposition. He'd be perfectly happy to stay in with just them rather than celebrating the independence of her country, but if she wanted to see the fireworks, then they'd go see them.

"You realize that no one who knows me would believe you if you told them I was going to an Independence Day celebration, yes?"