[FM] 22 - Believe in This
May. 26th, 2006 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
my_strappyshoesI'm not sure I have actual faith anymore. When my brother and I were younger it was routine. Church on Sunday's were just a given. Then the older we got the less we went. I don't think it was that we didn't believe as a family anymore, it was just easier to believe that we didn't need to sit in a stuffy room with someone telling us things we already knew. My family is a good family. My parents are still married, and actually still love each other, well last I checked anyway. The notion of organized religion kind of faded away for my family. I think they figured that they had set us up with a strong foundation of beliefs and if we wanted to continue in the path they set for us then they would support it. I mean they wouldn't have gotten mad if I suddenly decided that Kabballah was for me, but they wanted us to have choices. The last time I went to church alone, let alone with family was probably Christmas four years ago. I was home from college and it just seemed like something we hadn't done in a while. In a way it almost felt like we had been missing out on something. Don't get me wrong, the service was really nice. I just didn't really think it was needed to make our holiday whole.
Now you might think that my views on faith and trusting in a higher power have changed since I've seen all that I've seen? I just don't let it though. They say seeing is believing, and I've seen enough to know that I don't have to believe everything I see. You might consider this ignorant to turn away from things that I can't explain away. I'm a logic girl though. The idea of God and creation was a nice story, but if you get down to the math of it? Evolution could have occurred in the bible, because in order to discern a day, you need a sun and the moon. So until that was created? You just have infinite time.
I need that logic part of it for things that conflict in my mind. That could be why my faith hasn't been so present in my life recently. Trust me, I'm thankful for what I have, and what my future has in store for me? I just don't know if I like the idea that someone else already knows.
Now you might think that my views on faith and trusting in a higher power have changed since I've seen all that I've seen? I just don't let it though. They say seeing is believing, and I've seen enough to know that I don't have to believe everything I see. You might consider this ignorant to turn away from things that I can't explain away. I'm a logic girl though. The idea of God and creation was a nice story, but if you get down to the math of it? Evolution could have occurred in the bible, because in order to discern a day, you need a sun and the moon. So until that was created? You just have infinite time.
I need that logic part of it for things that conflict in my mind. That could be why my faith hasn't been so present in my life recently. Trust me, I'm thankful for what I have, and what my future has in store for me? I just don't know if I like the idea that someone else already knows.
